


Finding Home

by aingealcethlenn



Series: Finding Home [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fighting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-29 00:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15061520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aingealcethlenn/pseuds/aingealcethlenn
Summary: When Kali Petrova finds herself once again with the Avengers, she must try to put her feelings aside and work as part of the team. A task which is easier said than done with the -now former- Winter Soldier now a part of said team. Is she able to keep her work and private life separate? Or is her longing for that feeling of home once again, far too great for her to run from?





	1. Teaser 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters 1 & 2 are just teasers!  
> Chapter 3 will be updated periodically, it will be ONLY Author's Notes!!!  
> The story will begin on Chapter 4
> 
> (This story is still being worked on! So please bear with me as I finish writing the final two chapters. I will begin posting the chapters ASAP!!! <3)

My name is Kali Petrova.  
I was raised and trained in the Red Room Academy.

You’ve never heard of me though.  
You see, I wasn’t one of the Black Widows from the Academy.

No, I was instead a part of HYDRA’s Winter Soldier program. The only other successful soldier ever created by HYDRA.

The only difference in my training, versus that of _The_ Winter Soldier, was that I never underwent any of the _severe_ mind control methods.

I was fully aware of what I was doing.

Though I had been controlled enough for trigger words to be implanted, they were never needed.  
The only people who ever knew them, was _The Soldier_ , myself, and two handlers at any given time - for the off chance that one might be killed.

The Winter Soldier may have been _one of_ the best assassins HYDRA had, but I was, in fact, _the best_.

I was the student that surpassed the teacher.

I was also the student who _fell in love_ with her teacher.

For years, I had _avoided_ HYDRA.  
Now, as an ally of the Avengers, I was thrown right back into their sights.

Luckily for me, The Soldier was the only one in HYDRA who still knew of my existence. I had taken care to eliminate the others one by one.

Much like the Soldier himself, I was a phantom, a ghost, a memory - a story.

* * *

Lying prone on the ground, the butt of the rifle pulled tight into my shoulder. Down in the valley below, _blissfully_ unaware of the danger - and in my sights - stood my last target.

I found myself ‘ _slipping into the zone_ ’ sort of speak - I guess.

That moment before every shot.  
That moment where the scope and target are _millimeters_ apart from being _perfectly_ aligned.

Without fully immersing oneself into that zone, it’s hard to patiently find that _specific_ moment.  
A hair off and the shot is wide by 15 feet, and your position exposed.

The target moved even closer to the designated location. Just as I lined up the crosshairs on his head I felt the cold, hard pressure of a muzzle on the posterior of my skull.

 _I_ was the _best_ in my field.  
So there was only one person - on _this planet_ , at least - that could get this close without alerting me.

Turning slightly - in my peripherals were the steel-blue eyes of one James Buchanan Barnes.

* * *

As everyone cleared out of the quinjet, Steve looked at Bucky. **  
**

“You’re in charge of her for now, is that okay?”

“So long as she keeps her mouth shut, I don’t see it being a problem.” He just glared at me, and I knew _exactly_ what he meant.

“Good. Take her to the training room. She can blow off some steam there while we debrief. Then I’ll come and talk to her.”

Bucky just nods in agreement, _like a good soldier_. Steve looks to me and rests a hand on my shoulder.

“I’m glad you’re okay. You know that right?”

I nod in reply. Looking right into his eyes.

“But this isn’t some _welcome home_ party. I need answers from you before you’re free to wander the tower again.”

“Yes, Sir.” I quip in reply, offering a mock-salute.

Steve just shakes his head and tries to hide a small smile.

“And be nice to Bucky, huh?” He chuckles quietly.

“Only if he’s nice to me.” I look over my shoulder toward Bucky.

“You know he can take you out if you try anything, right?” Steve looked down at me. The look in his eye a warning.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” I mumble.

His grip tightens slightly on my shoulder. He leaned down and whispered for only I to hear.  
“Just because he doesn’t remember you completely, doesn’t mean you can take advantage.”

“I got it, don’t worry. I’ll be nice to the Soldier.”

With that, he turned to leave, going to join the rest of the team in the meeting room.


	2. Teaser 2

__***Flashback to CA: Winter Soldier time frame*  
**  
I found a place to sit near the Lincoln Memorial. Quiet enough for her and I to be able to talk, but close enough to the commotion to avoid any suspicions being raised.

_It didn’t take long before I felt her body bump into mine as she sat next to me. Looking over, her eyes were cold. I knew what Fury meant to her.  
As a shadow draped over us, I looked up to see what was causing it. Finding a broad-shouldered, innocent looking man, towering over us. I couldn’t help but smile up at Steve._

_“He’s back, Kali.”_

_I looked back at her from Steve, my features clearly showing my confusion._

_“Who’s back Natalia?”_

_“Three slugs, no rifling, Soviet-made? And Rogers,” she glanced up at the man in front of us, “said he was fast, strong and had a metal arm.” He nodded and she focused back on me. “You know there’s only one person who fits that and could make the shot that got Fury.”_

_I closed my eyes and let out a heavy sigh. She was right. There was only one person - one man - who fit that description._

_“What do you expect me to do about it? He speaks Russian, Nat. You can talk to him just as easily as I can.”_

_“I want an extra set of hands, that I know I can trust.”_

_“You have a super soldier on your side,” I nod toward Rogers, “what more could I offer?”_

_“I know that you’re the only one that knows how to find him.” She said flatly._

_I looked between her and Steve. His eyes had widened slightly, while her’s stayed locked on me. She was right, but the real question was, did I want to._

_“Kali, please? I never ask for anything.” She looked at me with pleading eyes._

_“Fine.” I sighed. “Just, don’t do,” I waved my hand in front of her face smiling, “that look again.”_

_“Deal.” She smiled._

_“And I do this my way. Got it?”_

_“Within reason.” She said as she stood up._

_“Natalia? I’m not under SHIELD. I’m not under anyone. I do this my way, or I walk.”_

_“Fine. Just don’t kill anyone.” She laughed as she started walking back toward her car._

_“No promises.” I smiled, following close behind, with Rogers trailing behind me._

* * *

***Kali confronted by Steve*  
**  
“But, this _history_ you two have.” He took a step toward where I stood. “You’re the only one who really _knows_ anything about it.”

“Yea, well, maybe that’s for the best.” I turned to walk away.

“I’m not so sure.” He grabbed my arm as I tried to pass. “I know you still have feelings for him, I saw that the last time you were with us, and every time you lock eyes with him since you’ve been back.”

“Just drop it, okay?” I growled, pulling my arm free of his hand.

“Want to talk about it?”  
His voice was calm, comforting, even pleading.

“Steve, I know you just want to help and all, and I appreciate it, really. But, this… this is something that I’d rather not bring up. It’s something I have tried to forget, but can’t.”  
I start to make my way toward the door again.

“Maybe if you talk to someone about it? Get it off your chest and give yourself a chance to -?”

“You know, maybe a part of me doesn’t _want_ to forget it?” I turn back to face him.  
“Maybe a part of me wishes _that_ Bucky was still here? The Bucky I knew, rather than the one you know. I know what he’s been through, I know what he’s done. Here’s the thing though Steve…”

I watch as he takes a small step back as if recoiling from my words.  
“I know how to bring _my_ Bucky back. But I’m smarter than that. I know what it would do. Bringing _that_ Bucky back would destroy the Bucky that you know now. I can’t have my Bucky back. I’ve accepted that. But to be around the _new_ Bucky? -”

“You know he would forgive you, Kali.” He tried to take a few steps closer.

“I don’t deserve it, Steve. Trying to make _your_ Bucky understand the things that happened when he was _my_ Bucky is basically impossible. It’s two different people. Do you have any idea how difficult it is for me to see him around, every day, and yet _not_ have him around. Does that make sense?”

“So take the time to get to know this Bucky. Fall in love with him all over again.”

* * *

  ** _*Confrontation with Bucky*  
  
_**

“I’m not in the damn mood Barnes.”

“How could you possibly fall in love with someone like me?!”

I looked at him with confusion painted across my face. Quickly realizing he must have somehow heard my conversation with Nat.

“Bucky don’t.”

“I was dangerous! I was a _monster_!”  
The anger clear in his voice.

“You were _not_ a monster Buck,” I growled.

“You said, and I quote, _he killed with no remorse_. How is that not a damn monster? How could you ever find it okay to fall in love with someone like that? You deserve so much better Kali!”

“That wasn’t you doing that stuff, and I _knew it_! I, on the other hand, had full control over myself. My actions, my _choices_ , were mine and mine alone! If either of us is a monster, **it’s me**!”

I turned my back to him, quickly throwing a right hook and almost knocking the bag off its hook.

“You’re not a monster, Kali.”  
His voice softened.

“ _But it was still me_. Right? Isn’t that what you told Rogers when he said damn near the same thing to you?” I narrowed my eyes, glaring at him. “I’ve killed more people than you have. I’ve done things you can’t even begin to imagine. Through it all, I was never out of control. I was never _triggered_ and forced to act.”

“You still couldn’t have said no. They would have killed you, Kali.”

“No. They wouldn’t. That’s just it, Bucky. I could have walked out of there anytime I wanted to, but I chose to stay.”

“You shouldn’t have stayed just because of me.”  
His voice was quiet, sad.

I chuckle a little. Avoiding his eyes at all cost.  
“My Bucky said the same thing.”

“I _am_ your Bucky.”  
He crouched down in front of me.


End file.
